Two Years Post Op Today!!

UNREAL

I can NOT believe two years has passed already since I had my double jaw surgery!!!

This won't be a long post, because nothings really changing anymore...but it's just a really insane milestone. I remember thinking I wasn't going to make it past the week mark and here I am!!

It isn't all perfect but I don't expect it to be. When you had a bite like mine, you pretty much settle for way better rather than perfect. Don't nitpick, just be happy. (However, the right side of my face where the nerve is damaged is rather annoying....and a bit droopier in appearance but maybe that's just me being critical of myself idk)

ANYWAY it's been a crazy two years. I still can't believe the braces are off. The retainer is a pain though, but I've been on top of that adamantly. I will NOT be one of those people. I've come so far, I don't want to ruin it by being lazy. Sure, when I'm taking it out in public (at university) to eat or drink I feel like I'm in middle school again, but hey...I'd rather keep my teeth straight than either not eat or not wear it because I don't want to deal with it in front of people (who actually haven't been too bad about it...at least not in front of me)

That's all I really have to say...all in all I'm incredibly glad I went through with the surgery. Even when I'm feeling down and wondering if the numbness/nerve damage was worth it, I look at picture pre surgery and am just amazed how big a difference it really made.

So yeah, that's me two years later.

Au revoir for now, friend

xx

THEY'RE OFF!!!!

I can't believe I didn't post this yesterday but I'm so excited to say that I HAVE NO BRACES!!!!! There are still some flaws with my teeth and bite in my opinion...like the front teeth aren't perfectly in line, and my teeth still don't really bite together perfectly (will the retainer help with that? I'm getting it tomorrow so we'll see.) But yeah I don't know like it would be nice to fix it all but it's been almost four years and I'm starting school and I'm just so tired of them. Besides my bite is way better than it used to be anyway so it's like whatever.

I'm getting an invisilign (spelling??) retainer so I'm glad that's a thing. A girl I work with has one and I didn't even notice the entire year I worked with her so that goes to show how good they are at the whole invisible thing. I hate this day I had between getting them off and getting the retainer though, I feel like my teeth are shifting already and I know it's probably just psychological but it's freaking me out. 

ANYWAY here are some pictures of me sans braces. Actually I'm starting with the last picture of me with braces I took. 

 

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I also got new glasses o it's a whole bew look (kind of...my new glasses are pretty similar to my old ones so) 

FOUR DAYS

I GET MY BRACES OFF IN FOUR DAYS OH MY GOD this is insane.

I'm currently wearing 'finishing elastics' in order to bring my bite together completely and it's definitely improved the issues I was having (not 100% but hey we still have four days. plus at this point it's good enough and I just want these things out of my mouth) The elastics are in a zig zag pattern and they are such a pain both literally and figuratively. They get realy tight and I can barely even open my mouth. The day after I got them I went to see One Direction and It was so hard to scream. Actually I snapped one of them and had to run out during a song to put in new ones so thats how dedicated I am. Because you have to wear them ALL THE TIME. I was sort of lax with my last ones. I mean I wore them a lot but I didn't rush to get them in after eating etc. These ones are very important though because  leaving them off for 30 minutes requires 10 HOURS of wearing them to adjust it again!! If you don't wear them then they may not let you get them off which is a no from me. 

Anyway, here are what the elastics look like (sorry for the awful phone quality pics though) Like I said I still don't think my bite is absolutely perfect but it's a hell of a lot better than it used to be so I can deal with it! 

countdown til Tuesday!!!

xx 

 

THE BEST NEWS EVER

(I didn't post this right away for who knows why but I'm here now)

SEPTEMBER 1ST I GET MY BRACES OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CAN YOU TELL I'M EXCITED?????

My last appointment was a few weeks ago and my ortho said everything is looking pretty near perfect! I've been VERY diligent with elastics lately because I want everything to go as smoothly as possible. Guess it worked out!! He just said "I think we're gonna go ahead and find a date to get these things off of you, how does that sound?" and I had to hold back a scream. "That sounds AMAZING"

SO I have another checkup appointment on August 19th, and then braces off September 1 with a check up on the 3rd. Then I leave for school on the 5th!!!! EVERYTHING IS CHANGING.
The problem with the date, though, is that now I'm wishing summer away!! But I also don't really want summer to end!!

Anyway, I'm SO happy that I'll have them off for school. I had to take my student card picture with them on, but it's all good....I'll have a new one in a year, anyway.

I also FINALLY got my full G license today!! I asked about getting a new picture because the one I have on my license AND health card are both pre surgery!!! No one has asked about it yet when I show them ID, but I DO look pretty different so I'm always nervous. It's $25 for a new drivers picture, and I have to wait until 2017 for the health card. I think I can live with it...for now.

ANYWAYS, just thought I'd share the news!!! See you in September with some brace free pictures!!!!


x ellen

Three and a half years......and counting

SOS THE BRACES ARE STILL ON

I had my ortho appointment about a week ago but failed to actually post about it. Anyway, I'm here now if any one still cares to hear about my jaw related woes.
The woman taking my wires off was talking to me about where I'm going to school and then came to the realization that I have FOUR MONTHS before I leave (what!! Too soon! I'm not ready to adult yet!!!) Anyway, she slipped the information to my orthodontist who promptly replied with something along the lines of "Well then, I guess we'd better see what we can do about getting them off" (internal cheering)

I've been wearing elastics to fix my crossbite and so far so good it seems!! My orthodontist thinks so, which matters more than what I can actually tell but I personally say it's peachy. Anyway, I'm down to one elastic now to close some gaps that I can't actually see myself but that seem to be there regardless, and my next appointment was booked for May 20 (which is 5 weeks from my last appointment instead of like...two or three months!)

IF I DON'T HAVE THESE THINGS OFF BEFORE I START UNIVERSITY I SWEAR tO GOD. THAT WILL BE FOUR YEARS.

I can't even remember what it feels like to NOT have a mouth full of metal. A coworker of mine just got his braces on and was so excited about them and I had to laugh. I remember when I got my braces on..the excitement, the future of straight teeth that lay ahead. Alas, the feelings are fleeting. Now, I want to rip them out. This feeling is mixed with the "Yes, buttttttttt I also want straight teeth". Sigh.

Anyway, that is my current situation. Tomorrow I' m going to a luncheon for the top students accepted into my program (art) so everyone will meet me with braces on which I guess isn't a huge deal, but I mean...it would be nice to start this new chapter completely NEW. Leave the braces in the past with high school.

Oh! In unrelated news I have dreadlocks now! My friend put three in my hair back in October but I never got around to finishing them until the end of January. So the majority are only about 3 months old and look awful (baby dreads suck) but hey, it's a new look and I'm excited for them to mature!!

Well, until May 20 arrives I have no other important news to share!!  Hope all is well, and thank you to anyone who reads my blog at all, making this typing worthwhile for me and, hopefully, you or your child.

xx

ellen

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

I'm not going to go into detail again about my year because I already did that, but I hope anyone reading this had a great Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or (insert whatever holiday you celebrate here)!!! I personally had a wonderful time and I'm looking forward to 2015!! As of now I'm planning to make some big changes to my life!!

Anyway, I recreated a picture I took last year (back when I was only 2 months post op) and put them side by side. I never realized just how swollen I was!!!

Hope everyone has a great (and safe!) New Years Eve, and here's hoping my braces come off soon!!!

xxx

Postponed...again

Not that I was at all surprised, but I had another orthodontist appointment and yet again am without a date. It's kind of funny because the young boy next to me mentioned his two year mark would be in May...his dad says "Yep, it's been a long time!" and I was sitting in my chair wanting to say "If you thought THAT was long, try three years (and three months!!)". And THEN he proceeded to book an appointment in April....to get them off!!! Oh the cruel cruel world.

I have a crossbite now, I guess. I noticed it of course, I think I mentioned it my last post. On the right side either my front teeth moved back or my bottom teeth moved forward I can't tell but it's annoying and now I have "buttons" on the backs of two of my top teeth (I was imagining actual buttons being on my teeth while they glued them on) and now I'm wearing an elastic on the right side, and if this doesn't fix it them I'm tempted to just say screw it!! Rip them off right now I'm sick of this!! (I probably won't do that)

Anyway, that's me and my issue plagued jaw for you. It's never going to come easy for me, is it?? Anyway, here are some pictures I took before my work Christmas party. Hopefully when you next hear from me it will be because I'm really excited about having a date to get this damned metal out of my mouth!!!

 

One Year!!!!!!!!

Oh my GOD!!!! I can NOT believe it's been an entire year since I had my surgery!! On this day last year I made my nervous drive to Kingston and had a nervous wait in the hospital and sat nervously in my nice hospital gown and got wheeled away from my mother and grandpa and underwent a surgery that was going to completely change my life!!!! A year ago at this time I can recall waking up briefly in the recovery room, painfully throwing up blood, and then once again while I was wheeled to my room. Back then, I could barely even see past a few days let alone an entire year! It's just so unreal to me that I spent SO long waiting and fretting about having the surgery, and now it's already a year past. That's not to say my journey is over, though. I still have these damn braces!! But at my last ortho appointment, my doctor said he wanted to have them off ASAP. The only real issue is that the teeth on the bottom right side have shifted forward slightly so that now my eye teeth (I believe that's what they are...I'm not fluent in tooth jargon) are touching and it's not TOO bad, but I notice it obviously and we're trying to get that fixed up so hopefully all goes well! My next appointment is in Decemeber

Anyway, an entire year has obviously brought with it many changes. I look different, for one. Sometimes I'll look at my self and think the change really wasn't that big, but then I look at pictures of me from before and I am still completely blown away!! I'm still on the course of accepting and loving myself, but I am so much further in that journey since I've had my surgery. I am far more confident now, knowing that the people I interact with or even just pass by, aren't just looking at my jaw the whole time (or at least, that's what my constant fear was). I don't need to cover my face with my hands, or hate myself when I smiled or laugh. I can actually eat sandwiches!!!!! And I don't pull all of the filling out!!!

I still have numbness in the same areas I've mentioned below (lower right lip and chin, as well as gums) but it's bearable at this point. I've come to the conclusion that I will more than likely be living like this for the rest of my life, and it's really not that bad. I can still tell, for the most part, if I have anything on my face. My real problem is that the numb side is also a tad bit more swollen, it seems. It's just kind of bigger and...I don't want to say droopy, but it's not quite as tight as the left side (my good side ;D) But no matter.

I've come really far as a person since my confidence has grown, and I am comfortable now with being myself. I no longer care as much for what people think of me. I accept what I like and I don't try to change or hide my interests to fit what other people want or like. I've cut the bad people from my life, for the most part. I'm in my gap year, and next year I hopefully will  be living in Toronto, so I'm not making a huge deal out of making better friends really. I'm meeting some nice people ,and I work with great people, but right now my focus is on furthering my art and getting into OCAD University, as well as working enough to save more for school. I don't need any of the distractions that having many friends brings right now, as I simply do not have the time. I have one great, best friend and it's awesome. I've never been a person who needs more than five friends, anyway, so it's alright.

I'm about to start my second NaNoWriMo novel, another great way to celebrate, as I started my first one last year during my recovery week! I have high hopes for this one!

I'm really beginning to learn about myself and who I am, and what I want to do with my life. I'm looking forward to travelling and meeting new people, and I want to do things that change the world for the better. I don't want to just sit around forever, I want to experience life and I want to make life better for those who don't have the luxuries that I do living in Canada. This year has really brought to light who I am, which is a person I never imagined I would be a few years ago.

I had a rough four years in high school, I'll be honest. I'm still struggling with the insecurities and self doubt that the time there garnered in me and I imagine I have some time left before I can truly keep it at bay. But right now, I am content with life and that's ok with me.

I am beyond happy with my surgery, and I can't wait to share when I finally get my braces removed!!!

Ten months and an ortho appointment!

Today sucked. It was an absolutely awful day.
For some reason my June self decided it was perfectly acceptable to make an appointment for 9:40 in the summer, meaning I had to wake up at 8:45am...........this is a girl who sleeps in until 11-12 every day after going to bed at 2 am. Then I had to go into work for 1 after a glorious 4 days spent down at my cottage, and while backing out of my driveway, trying carefully to maneuver my car between the telephone pole located dangerously close to the driveways edge, and the van belonging to a woman who was meeting my mom (my mom is going to watch her son before and after school, so they were  just meeting) anyway, I turned to sharply and hit the van, putting a pretty sizeable dent in the sliding door, so I'll be paying for that repair out of pocket. If I go through insurance, I'll have to pay an extra $65 a month and that isn't happening so.  She got an estimate today and said it was pretty pricey, but she's shopping around. My mom's guessing anywhere from $500 to $1000 though, so that should be just awesome.
I'm a person who really really hates spending money, I save save save, and I stress over the smallest decrease in my account. I've FINALLY reached a goal of $10,000 saved (mainly for university) and I'm currently looking to buy a new laptop. So now, rather than shelling out about $800, I'll be spending even more. I just can't believe it happened ,and I've been playing it over in my head all day just thinking of what ifs and could haves. Luckily the woman was nice about it, but still. It just really really sucks.
Anyway, then I was ten minutes late to work (partly because of the whole van debacle) but also because I was stuck in construction traffic on the way....so yeah, fun fun day for Ellen (not).

Incidentally, my teeth are KILLING me right now after having my braces tightened, getting c chains on once again, and having a new placement for my elastics. Apparently my bottom jaw has started coming forward again (awesome! ha ha...ha. .....ha) so I guess the elastics are going to push it back, but damn they hurt. I feel like I want to rip all of my teeth right out of my skull.
Anyway, no word on the braces removal, but my next appointment isn't until October (a few weeks after my three years of braces mark, and about 20 days shy of my one year since surgery date)
I'm not sure how the next month and a bit will change things, but you know. I've really given up hope and now I'm just resigning myself to the braces and playing it by year.

So I'm really not sure what the time frame looks like right now, but I'm pretty stressed and emotionally drained right now so I'm trying not to think about it right now honestly.

Well, that's really all I've got to say for now. Have a gander at some post surgery pictures of my face.

Thanks for reading (:

xx

Prom and Graduation!

Unfortunately I didn't get to have my braces off for prom or graduation, but my smile is still so much better and for that I am very thankful!! I thought I would post some pictures of the two events for fun, and I even have a picture of me from my grade eight graduation to put up next to grade 12...absolutely AMAZING.

I've said it a hundred times before, and I won't stop saying it, but WOW this surgery is incredible.

Prom: (my hair definitely did not turn out well, but whatever I had fun)

 




Grad:

 

Seven and a half months!!!?!¿¿!

Time is flyyyyyyyying!!! Its been over seven months already! I know I'm surprised whenever I make such a statement but I can't help it!! Its been a BIG ((school)) year! Jaw surgery, turning 18, 5 concerts, and prom is coming up! Plus, I'm graduating this year!!!!!? 

Anyway, I went to my orthodontist a few days ago and it sounds like there's still quite a bit of work to do.....:( 

I overheard him mention something about a crossbite?? Ugh 

They put a tie on to fix the gap between two teeth on the right upper side of my mouth, and they have to adjust my midline a bit more ((I did notice that my bottom teeth are a little off and a little..slanted? I guess)) I have to wear elastics now too, which suckkkssssas so muchhhhhhh. It's only been a fewdays but my teeth STILL hurt after the tightening and the elastics make the pain even worse...so hopefully it ether goes away or I get really used to it.

I'm still taking that Gabepentin stuff for my numbness. I don't think there's been much of a change yet,  because I feel like any slight changes I do notice might be psychological rather than actual changes..he did say it would be a slow process, though, so hope is not lost!!

It's amazing how much work there still is to do after surgery.... I feel like a lot of people ((or maybe it's just me idk)) just think oh surgery and then perfect teeth yay ! NOT THE CASE APPARENTLY. 

I can't wait for the year mark and beyond. Dr Barr says the swelling is all down by now, but my face would still change and the bones and facial structure start to smooth out so I'm anxious to see the true 'finished product'!!! 

Anyway, I guess I'll just leave y'all with some pictures of my glorious, issue plagued face!! 

Have a happy Friday the 13th!! 

xxx

 

Week Twenty Seven! ((Over five months!!))

As noted before, I am a horrrrrrrrible blogger! But I mean I don't really have many readers at this point anyway...still, I feel bad ok.
Anyway, we're already past the five month mark and I can hardly believe it!! I never even thought I would get past that first week. I remember completely regretting it the very first day I was back home, and several times throughout the week. Now I can barely remember that time even happening ((besides the fact that it was absolutely horrific)). And ever since I've been able to eat solid food again, I hardly even think about it!

Of course, I'm almost always thinking about my jaw these days. It looks SO good ((the jaw, not my face lol)). Like I've said before, I've never been happy about my looks so it's hard for me to like what I see, but I definitely like this much better. I'm slowly learning to like me for me and love myself, but it is very hard to do living in such a materialistic world...

Anyway, unfortunately I will be having my braces on for several more months. By the time I get them off it will be closer to , if not more than, three years with them on. They told me it would only be two - two and a half years....and I really wanted them to be off for graduation and prom. It was sucky enough having them for my grad photos, it would have been nice to have them off and be able to flash my nice, straight, not metal teeth! But oh well, what can you do..

The lower right area of my lip/chin is STILL numb! My oral surgeon put me on medication called Gabapentin, which was actually created to help people with epilepsy but now it's also used in a case like mine in order to assist the nerves in repairing themselves. Think of it like it's sort of like a puzzle, and the nerve is having trouble figuring out where to put the pieces so the medicine goes in with all of it's knowledge and science power and helps it out. I've only been taking it once a day for three days so far, and then next week I start taking two and day, and then three a day the next week. And then I go in to see him and we'll see how it's going. There hasn't been much change thus far.

Swelling is basically all down now, at least if you don't know me well. I still see some swelling around my cheeks and chin area ((mostly cheeks)) and the people who really know me can still sort of tell, but if you just met me or if you didn't see me often then you would probably just think I have a puffy face. It hasn't even been six months yet though, and lot's of people have said that it can take up to a year ((or even more)) for it all to go down so I'm still dreaming of a nice, chiseled jaw line Angelina Jolie style ;)

Anywhooo, that's all there is to say for now. I'll leave some pictures down here, but there hasn't been much change.

Hope everyone is having wonderful lives!!

Week 20

Wow I last poste in February.... so bad at blogging  Of course there really isn't muh to say at this point, the recovery is over more or less. I still feel like theres a little swelling left but maybe it's just because my dace has changed and I'm not used to it. Still waiting for the numbing to go down but it can take up to even a year so that's still a work in progress. 

I slacked a little in my jaw exercising so I'm still sort of stiff, and I can still only open about three fingers wide. 

BUT I can eat sandwiches perfectly and that it SO nice oh my god. 

Anyway, I don't know when braces will be off but it probably won't be for another several months still. Sigh. 

I just can't believe that this time last year I was anxiously waiting to hear I was ready and get a date.  I was so excited that I only had 'four or five months to go' and now look at me. I can honestly say I am so happy with my face (: 

Well, until next time ((whenever that may be!))